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[The following is excerpted from the book, Gather: Getting to the Heart of Going to Church, Copyright © 2021 by M. Hopson Boutot. Click here to download the entire book for free.]  

 Perhaps you’ve heard of the “one another” passages in the New Testament. The original language uses one word, ἀλλήλων (pronounced ah-LAY-loan), to articulate this concept. That word is used 100 times in the New Testament in 94 different verses. 55 times the word is used to describe or command behaviors and actions within the local church.[1] Consider a few examples:

  • Be At Peace With One Another (Mark 9:50; Romans 12:16, 15:5)
  • Be Humble Towards One Another (1 Peter 5:5; Philippians 2:3)
  • Be Kind to One Another (Ephesians 4:32)
  • Bear Burdens for One Another (Galatians 6:2)
  • Bear With One Another (Ephesians 4:2; Colossians 3:13)
  • Build One Another Up (Romans 14:19; 1 Thessalonians 5:11)
  • Care for One Another (1 Corinthians 12:25)
  • Confess to One Another (James 5:16)
  • Do Good To One Another (1 Thessalonians 5:15)
  • Encourage One Another (Romans 1:12; 1 Thessalonians 4:18, 5:11)
  • Fellowship With One Another (1 John 1:7)
  • Greet One Another (Romans 15:7, 16:16; 1 Corinthians 16:20; 2 Corinthians 13:12; 1 Peter 5:14)
  • Honor One Another (Romans 12:10)
  • Instruct One Another (Romans 15:14)
  • Love One Another (John 13:34-35, 15:12, 17; Romans 12:10, 13:8; 1 Thessalonians 3:12, 4:9; 2 Thessalonians 1:3; 1 Peter 1:22; 1 John 3:11, 23, 4:7, 11-12; 2 John 5)
  • Pray for One Another (James 5:16)
  • Serve One Another (John 13:14; Galatians 5:13)
  • Show Hospitality to One Another (1 Peter 4:9)
  • Stir Up One Another to Love and Good Works (Hebrews 10:24)
  • Submit to One Another (Ephesians 5:21) ·
  • Wait for One Another (1 Corinthians 11:33)

One important question related to these commands is to whom exactly the “one another” is referring. Is it referring to all people everywhere? Certainly not, for many of the commands cannot be applied towards unbelievers (e.g., fellowship with one another, stir one another up to love and good works, submit to one another, etc.). Or is it referring to all Christians everywhere? This interpretation fails because it effectively empties the commands of any force. You cannot possibly confess your sins to all Christians everywhere, so you don’t confess your sins to anyone. You can’t show hospitality to every Christian, so you don’t show hospitality to any Christians.

The fact that most of these commands are directed to local churches is telling. When Paul told the believers in Rome to honor one another (Romans 12:10), he had a specific local church in mind with a specific responsibility. When he told the Corinthians to wait for one another before they partook communion (1 Corinthians 11:33), he had a specific congregation in mind. It seems best, then, to view these commands as referring to life in the local church.

So what does any of this have to do with non-attendance? The longer a member is absent from the life of her local church, the harder it will be for her to obey these commands. It’s harder to bear burdens if you’re not present to hear what those burdens are. It’s hard to serve one another if you don’t see one another. Some of these commands can be faithfully obeyed from a distance, but others (like greeting and showing hospitality) are virtually impossible virtually. They require physical presence. 

[1] For a complete list of ἀλλήλων in the New Testament, see the Appendix.