Can you remember the moment it first hit you—really hit you—that you were not in control?

For me, it was the day my two-year-old brother Adrien hit his head, fell into a swimming pool, and never woke up. In a split second, my illusion of control shattered. Maybe you’ve had a similar moment—through the loss of a loved one, a diagnosis, a broken relationship, or the death of a dream.

As painful as these moments are, they can actually be a gift. Because deep joy comes when you stop pretending you’re in control and start trusting the One who is.

That’s what Ecclesiastes 6:10–7:14 teaches us. The Preacher shows us three steps toward true joy in a world that constantly reminds us of our limits: accept life’s uncertainty, embrace your responsibility, and trust God’s sovereignty.

Accept Life’s Uncertainty

We like to believe that if we work hard enough, plan carefully enough, or pray fervently enough, we can secure the future. But the Preacher reminds us: “Whatever has come to be has already been named… and man is not able to dispute with one stronger than he” (Ecclesiastes 6:10).

Life isn’t under our control—it’s already “named” by Someone greater than us. You can fight it, but you’re disputing with the Almighty.

Even our words can’t change reality. Job poured out his grief after losing everything, but no amount of lament brought his children back. The Preacher puts it bluntly: “The more words, the more vanity” (Ecclesiastes 6:11).

We don’t even know what tomorrow will bring. James echoes this truth: “You are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes” (James 4:14).

Life is short, fragile, and uncertain. That might sound depressing, but it’s actually liberating. You don’t have to hold the universe together. You couldn’t if you tried.

Embrace Your Responsibility

But if we’re not in control, does that mean nothing matters? Should we shrug our shoulders and say, “Whatever happens, happens”?

The Preacher says no. In Ecclesiastes 7:1–12, he repeats the word “better” again and again. Life is uncertain, but your choices still matter. You can’t control everything, but you are responsible for how you live.

Here are six wise choices he urges us to make:

  1. Choose integrity over extravagance.
    “A good name is better than precious ointment” (Ecclesiastes 7:1). Reputation lasts longer than luxury. Integrity outshines wealth.

  2. Choose reflection over frivolity.
    Funerals are better than parties because they make us face reality. Death reminds us to live for what matters (Ecclesiastes 7:2–4).

  3. Choose rebuke over distraction.
    We are drowning in entertainment, but correction from a wise friend is more valuable than endless laughter (Ecclesiastes 7:5–6).

  4. Choose patience over restlessness.
    When life doesn’t go your way, resist the urge to grasp for shortcuts or give way to anger. Patience trusts God’s timing (Ecclesiastes 7:7–9).

  5. Choose gratitude over nostalgia.
    Don’t romanticize the “good old days.” Every age has its challenges. Be thankful for the day you’re living in (Ecclesiastes 7:10).

  6. Choose wisdom over wealth.
    Money can protect you for a time, but wisdom preserves life (Ecclesiastes 7:11–12).

These aren’t easy choices. If we’re honest, we fail more often than we succeed. But they point us in the right direction—toward the only One who embodies wisdom perfectly.

Trust God’s Sovereignty

Ultimately, Ecclesiastes invites us to trust God’s control where ours ends. “Consider the work of God: who can make straight what he has made crooked?” (Ecclesiastes 7:13).

Scottish pastor Thomas Boston relied on this passage when he referred to suffering as“the crook in the lot.” He wrote: “As to the crook in your lot, God has made it; and it must continue while He will have it so.” We may try to fix what’s broken, but only God can make it straight.

That’s why the Preacher urges us: “In the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of adversity consider: God has made the one as well as the other” (Ecclesiastes 7:14).

God rules both the good days and the bad. That doesn’t make Him the author of evil, but it does mean that even suffering is not outside His control.

The clearest proof of this is the cross. On Good Friday, the only innocent man who ever lived was brutally killed. That was the darkest day in human history—and yet God turned it into the brightest, accomplishing salvation for His people.

If God can bring eternal good out of the death of His Son, He can be trusted to bring good out of your suffering too (Romans 8:28).

Learning to Let Go

You and I aren’t in control. Life is uncertain, fragile, and fleeting. But you don’t have to live in fear or despair.

Instead, accept life’s uncertainty. Embrace your responsibility. Trust God’s sovereignty.

Deep joy doesn’t come from grasping for control—it comes from surrendering it to the One who has always held it.