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What is essential in life? You might be tempted to think of coffee, indoor plumbing, or your smartphone. But the essentials for survival are pretty straightforward: air, water, food, shelter, and sleep.

And yet the Bible tells us of another need—one we often treat as optional. It’s not a luxury item; it’s essential. That need is friendship.

Genesis 2:18 gives us a surprising truth: “It is not good that the man should be alone.” This was said before sin entered the world! Friendship was designed into our lives from the beginning. Drew Hunter writes, “The first problem in human history was not sin—it was solitude.” And Tim Keller once said, “God made us in such a way that we cannot enjoy paradise without friends.”

Ecclesiastes 4:7–16 helps us see why friendship is so necessary. Solomon shows us that we need friendship to enjoy life, to endure life, and even for eternal life.

We Need Friendship to Enjoy Life

Ecclesiastes 4:7–8 paints a sobering picture: a man works endlessly, chasing wealth, but he has no one to share it with. He toils in isolation, and his riches can’t fill the void.

This reality isn’t confined to the ancient world. Many of us are surrounded by people but live functionally alone. A recent survey revealed that 12% of Americans say they don’t have a single close friend—a sharp increase from just 3% in 1990. For men, it’s even worse: one in five report having no close friends.

Busyness and technology play a role. We’re too busy working, hustling, and achieving to make time for people. And we’ve substituted shallow digital connections for the face-to-face relationships our souls crave.

But Solomon is clear: friendship is essential for enjoying life. Without friends, even our greatest achievements feel hollow.

Theologians and writers through the centuries have understood this. Augustine once said, “Two things are essential in this world—life, and friendship.” Gregory of Nazianzus wrote to his best friend Basil, “If anyone were to ask me, ‘What is the best thing in life?’ I would answer, ‘Friends.’”

You may accomplish great things alone, but you will not enjoy them. The joy of life is multiplied when it’s shared with others.

We Need Friendship to Endure Life

J. C. Ryle once said, “This world is full of sorrow because it is full of sin. It is a dark place. It is a lonely place. It is a disappointing place. The brightest sunbeam in it is a friend. Friendship halves our troubles and doubles our joys.”

That’s exactly what Solomon shows us in Ecclesiastes 4:9–12. These verses are often read at weddings, but the principle applies to all relationships. Life is easier to endure with friends for at least four reasons:

  1. Better Reward – “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil” (v. 9). Friends help us accomplish more, but even more importantly, they remind us that the journey is sweeter when shared.

  2. Better Recovery – “If they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone…” (v. 10). Everyone falls—through sin, failure, or suffering. Friends are there to pick us up when we’re down, and isolation makes recovery harder.

  3. Better Rest – “If two lie together, they keep warm” (v. 11). Friends provide comfort in life’s coldest seasons. Their presence is like warmth in the chill.

  4. Better Resilience – “A threefold cord is not quickly broken” (v. 12). True friends strengthen us to withstand life’s pressures.

Friendship doesn’t eliminate life’s troubles, but it makes them bearable. If you wait until tragedy strikes to build friendships, you may find yourself facing the storm alone. Build them now.

We Need Friendship for Eternal Life

The final verses (Eccl. 4:13–16) tell a parable about two kings—one old and foolish, the other young and wise. Both rise and fall, and in the end, both are forgotten.

This sobering story reminds us that even the most celebrated human friendships can’t save us from death. We need more than friends in this life—we need the Friend who can give us eternal life.

Jesus said in John 15:12–15: “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I command you… I have called you friends.”

Jesus Christ is the ultimate Friend. He laid down His life for us so we could be reconciled to God. Friendship with Him is the only hope we have for eternal life. Charles Spurgeon put it this way: “He who would be happy here must have friends; and he who would be happy hereafter must, above all things, find a friend in the world to come, in the person of God.”

Have you trusted in Jesus? If not, you can become His friend today by turning from your sin and believing in His finished work on the cross.

How Can We Cultivate Friendships That Last?

If you belong to Christ, you have the capacity to enjoy and build friendships better than anyone else. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy. Friendship requires intentionality.

Here are four practical ways to cultivate friendships:

  1. Be a good friend. Instead of searching for the perfect friend, ask God to help you become one. Listen more than you talk. Ask good questions. Follow up on the details of people’s lives.

  2. Invest time. Friendships are like gardens—they require consistent care. Schedule time to be with your friends.

  3. Go deep with a few. You can’t be close with everyone, and that’s okay. Jesus had an inner circle among His disciples. Focus on cultivating a handful of deep relationships rather than dozens of shallow ones.

  4. Push beyond the surface. Drew Hunter says, “Acquaintanceship is to friendship what snorkeling is to deep-sea diving.” Don’t just talk about schedules and sports. Share your struggles, joys, and spiritual life. Ask your friends, “How is your soul?”

Take the Next Step

Friendship isn’t a luxury—it’s a lifeline. You need friends to enjoy life, to endure life, and ultimately, you need Jesus Christ, the Friend who gives eternal life.

So what’s your next step? Maybe it’s to trust Jesus for the first time. Maybe it’s to send the text, make the call, extend the invitation, or join a small group. Maybe it’s to linger a little longer at church, take the risk of being known, and ask someone a meaningful question.

Let’s be a church family that fights isolation, reflects the heart of Jesus, and walks through life’s joys and sorrows together—arm in arm—until we see our dearest Friend face to face.